Thursday, May 8, 2014

Mistreatment, Mental Health, and the LGBT Community

My name is Kat, I am Bisexual, and I suffer from Mental Illness. I grew up in a house of abuse. I married and left an abusive man.  I am one of many faces of the ill, poorly treated LGBT community.  For many of us it begins with family. For others it begins with those they thought were friends. For still many more, it begins with strangers. The question is why? The answer is far from simple.

Straight people expect everyone to be supportive of them in their darkest hour, yet many of them turn on their LGBT friends when they come out to them, in need of love, support and understanding. We are wounded the worst when we are at our most vulnerable. It is hypocritical. It is hateful. It is the worst nightmare anyone could have.  When I came out on this blog, my mother read it and that was how she found out. To be honest I had no intention of ever telling my parents because I knew what they think and feel about being gay or bisexual.  My mother actually asked if I hated them. If I had wrote it to get more readers. When it came up during the outing of one of my guys being a cross-dresser...I should have known not to tell her but she had asked what kind of things he likes.  She had the nerve to ask me why it didn't make me sick! When I told her: Well, you know how I am. She replied that yes, she knew but we don't talk about it. As if it were a dirty secret that should be kept from everyone. She has accused him of being gay. She asked if he was also bisexual. I said no firmly, but that was a lie. I could not tell her the truth. I know she would have made him leave.

I need him and he needs me. We fulfill each other and comfort each other in was our families never have. Why would I risk that? I had already risked enough telling her he enjoys dressing like a girl.

I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (syndrome? I can never remember) and Major Depressive Disorder.  I often feel empty and alone, but my sweet mate always keeps me from falling over the edge into the dark abyss. Why is it that people like me can usually only find solace in the arms of another LGBT? Even my best friend is a bit questioning. At one time she had an online girlfriend. I supported her, but she was lost and grabbing onto people as lifelines. Not the right reason to have a relationship.  I am so very happy she has found herself a good man (there are good women too, not to say there aren't).  Everyone needs someone that truly loves them. Especially when they cannot love themselves.

My dear readers, if you know someone who is suffering from Mental Illness, whether they are straight, gay, bi, whatever. Hug them. Tell them you care. It could make the difference between choosing to live or letting go of life.

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